Family Update Part 1 - the adults

Note - it's been so long since I've blogged that I stole an idea from my friend Jessie and decided to do a general family update. But I started it over a week ago and still am only halfway done. So I'm posting the update on me and Jeremy now and will write about the girls next. There is so much I want to say about them that it's overwhelming me a bit!

Jeremy – Jeremy got a promotion at work last November – one that he really wanted and totally deserved. He is now the Finance Manager for the factory at the Golden Valley Honeywell. Honestly not really sure what his official title is, but that pretty much explains it. The only downside is that the factory employees start work pretty early so JT feels like he should get there early too – by 7am. It’s been working out while I’m on leave as I can take care of the girls in the morning, but when I go back to work it’s going to be tough. He’s still getting home around 6:00pm and if he can’t get there by 7am then he may have to work later… but we’ll work it out.

I will say that when he is home, he’s totally focused on the family. Thankfully he’s not the type to check his work email all night or on weekends or have to take phone calls. Also, no offense to those who enjoy these things …but I also thank god that he’s not into video games or even things like ice fishing. When he’s home, he’s either working on the house or with the family. Although I’ll admit that I wish he’d get on Facebook :}, I’ll accept the fact that he just isn’t really into it.
He has been working on the bathroom as much as possible, but some tile saw drama and the frigid temps have set him back. Now that he has a nice, new working saw it’s hard for him to cut tile (using water!) in the freezing cold garage. Which has been OK because he’s been working on other little projects and helping get things put away/organized from the holidays. Just this weekend he built some much needed shelving for the downstairs play area.

Jeremy is a great dad. Sometimes I think that goes without saying, but I realize I should say it more often. The girls absolutely adore him and the feeling is mutual. No one can make Bella laugh like him, and I find myself laughing at how goofy he gets. Ok, anyone that knows JT knows he’s always been goofy –but to hear the silly songs or games he comes up with takes it to the next level. Yesterday he somehow ended up playing dinosaur hide and see – he was a tyrannosaurus and Bella was a teradactyl….neither of them broke character during the entire game. On the flip side, he tends to be the stricter one when it comes to discipline. I think he just has more patience and refuses to ‘give in’ which is really helpful when I feel like I’m at my wits end.

JT is great with Addy too, but she’s still at a stage where she needs me alot. The two of them will sit and hang out while Bella and I play, but when Addy gets upset I tend to be the only one who can comfort her. This frustrates JT as he felt like he could always calm Bella down when she was a baby, but I’m certain this is a stage that will pass once I’m not home with Addy all day. I explain that she’s just used to me plus I have the ability to default to the no-fail method of nursing her to calm her down and get her to sleep. But he tries to make up for it in other ways – diaper changes, getting up in the night to reswaddle her, etc…

Me – I’m doing great. Honestly. I’ll admit that when Bella was a baby, I didn’t do so great. I was stressed out and overwhelmed all the time. I hated nursing. I was lonely at home. I’d have panic attacks that I was doing things wrong. Around 4 months things got better, but I’ll admit that when I would think back to the time I was home on leave of absence from work I wouldn’t miss it.

It’s totally different this time. A complete 180. Maybe it’s because I’ve done this once before and feel more comfortable, maybe it’s because I talked to my OB about it early on to try to figure out how to prevent the anxiety and panic attacks, maybe it’s because compared to a 2.5 yr old a baby seems so easy to take care of…but I am loving my time at home. Of course it was a tough adjustment at first, but overall I’m just much more relaxed and enjoying the experience more.

My typical day consists of getting up with Addy between 4am-5am and nursing her, then dozing in the chair on and off until I either wake Bella up or she wakes up on her own (depending on what she is doing that day). Then we have breakfast and get Bella ready for the day. I’ll drive her to my Mom’s or my In-laws house and then come back home with Addy. Typically Addy will nurse and fall asleep on me while I play around on my laptop or watch some TV. This is my relaxing time I allow myself with her during the day. After this, I try to be more productive – run errands, clean, organize. Addy hasn’t been going down in her crib for naps, so she’ll either take a long nap in her carseat (if we’ve been out) or bouncer (rare) or take little cat naps on me after she nurses. I was worried at first about her not having a couple long naps, but I guess this is normal – some babies take these cat naps and then have a long nap every few days to make up for it (which is what she does). I then either pack up Addy to go pick up Bella or JT will pick her up on his way home from work. It depends on when he leaves. I don't really mind going back as it gives the family a chance to see Addy, but when it's so cold out it kind of sucks.

I go back to work in 1.5 weeks… I have mixed feelings about it. At first I wanted to quit and be a stay at home mom, then I was convinced part-time would be the only way to go, now that I have to go back full time (no part time option in my current job) I’m OK with it but still not looking forward to it. It’s been so nice being at home and being able to get some productive stuff done throughout the day, but I know it’s only because Bella isn’t around and Addy isn’t mobile. It’d be a totally different situation if I was at home. Since we are lucky enough to have family help with daycare (more on this later with Bella) and I do technically enjoy working (I guess…:P), our situation will work out and I don’t feel TOO guilty going back.

I’ve started a new diet and exercise regimen. I’m using MyFitnessPal.com to track my food intake and I love it so far. Once I hit 6 weeks postparyum I stopped allowing myself to use the excuse that I was still healing to eat whatever I wanted and be lazy. Now I’m working to eat around 1700 calories a day (I get an ‘extra’ 500 for breastfeeding) and be as active as I can. Right now I’m only making it to the gym once a week…but I’m trying to give myself some slack since I DO have a 2month old at home who is pretty dependent on me. I got on my Wii Fit Plus once while Addy was sleeping and hope to work that in more. But in general just trying to be up and moving as much as I can. So far I’m down 10 lbs in 4 weeks so I hope that continues! My goal is to be down 55lbs by my 30th bday on Oct 24. And I’m seriously committed to this…not like other times with Weight Watchers when I half assed it. I WILL get to a healthy weight this year.

Oh and my new obsession is my iPod Touch. Love it. Not sure Jeremy does as it's about as addicting as a Blackberry or iPhone. It's perfect for me, though, as I was always jealous of those with an iPhone but never wanted to pay the extra fee per month for the data plan. I hardly use my cell phone so it seemed ridiculous to pay so much a month for it. But my iTouch as all the functionality of an iPhone just w/o the phone service...as long as there is WiFi available. That is the only catch. No using it in the car (which is probably a good thing) or out and about in non-WiFi areas. But honestly I don't need to be THAT connected. Plus I've been surprised at where free WiFi is available - MG Community Center, Bucas, Childrens Theatre... and what I really use it the most for is tracking my food on MFP.com which I can do without internet. So now I have the benefit of downloading and wasting my time with all the cool apps and obsessively checking my email and facebook without paying a monthly fee!

Elmo Games

Lately, Bella’s favorite activity is playing “Elmo Games” on my laptop. I log into Seasamestreet.com and let her at it. It amazes me because she knows how to use my laptop (with the touch pad, not even a real mouse!), navigate the site and play most of the games. She knows how to use the arrow buttons to make the screen go up and down, start games over, pick a new game…everything!

It’s nice because it occupies her for as long as I let her play but can also cause drama if she asks to play and I have to say no. She likes to ask to play first thing in the morning or right before we have to go somewhere, it seems! We’ve started using it as a reward system – if she’s good and doesn’t fuss when we get home from work and through dinner she can play Elmo Games after dinner, for example.

What also amazes me is the fact that she can actually play most of the games and does really well. It doesn’t matter what it’s about – counting, alphabet, sorting, patterns, mazes, sounds, etc. She can do it all! The only games she needs help with are ones that require you to move the mouse quickly to click on something that moves. It’s hard to use your finger on the touchpad that fast.

I contemplated getting her a Leapster/vTech handheld game for Christmas but decided to wait until her 3rd birthday. It just seemed like a little too much for a 2 year old. Plus Auntie Lissa is getting her the Tag Jr. Reading System which I think she’ll like a lot.

Of course I shouldn’t be surprised since Bella does know how to use my sister’s iPhone …it won’t be long until she knows more about computers than I do…

Feeling Crafty

I spent all my "free" time today (aka Adalyn's nap times) making this Advent Calendar for Bella. I stole this idea from my friend Jessie who posted the idea on her blog a few days ago.

Mine isn't as fancy as the sample picture, but it will get the job done. I also colored the backs red and green so Bella can easily tell which days have been used. I forgot to pick up trinkets for it, so part of the fun was scrounging around the house to find a few things to get it started (tootsie rolls, stickers and a "B" star charm). I'd better remember to fill the rest before day 6 comes along!

Bella Update

I haven’t blogged about Bella lately. I meant to write a Halloween recap blog but now that just seems silly. So all I’ll say is that Bella loved Halloween. She wanted to be three things – a robot, Minnie Mouse and a Scary Bear. We stuck with Minnie Mouse only. On Saturday, we went to Maple Grove to trick or treat at the shops. It was fun but BUSY! It did allow us to stop at the Grandparents houses afterwards though to show off her costume. Since Nana was working we stopped at SuperValu in Crystal to surprise her. Sunday we went trick or treating in the neighborhood – I stuck with it for about 30 minutes and then let Bella and JT finish up. We ended up handing out candy to a whopping 15 kids at our house. But we did pass a lot of neighbors with their younger kids out and about so I bet we just missed them.

Bella loves talking about the holidays and always asks which one is next. Unfortunately, she’ll bring up Halloween here and there and get sad when we say it’s so far away. The good news is that we did let her have some candy (two pieces each on Sat and Sun) but after the weekend she never asked about candy again! We still have a huge bag in our kitchen but it’s like she forgot we even had it. Just yesterday was the first time we busted a sucker out of the Halloween bag for her…otherwise JT and I have been making a pretty good dent in the stash.

Since Addy was born it feels like Bella grew exceptionally fast. I pick her up and I swear she weighs 100 lbs. She talks about things and has these expressions that I never have heard/wonder where it came from. She’s really into pretending and dressing up. One of her favorite games right now is ‘Dr Daisy’ where all her Mickey Mouse characters need to go to the Dr (Daisy). Minnie’s issue is that she has old tap shoes…honestly no idea where Bella came up with that ailment.

She loves to dance. We’ll put on the Wiggles “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing” DVD and she doesn’t’ just sit in a trance anymore - she’ll actually get up and do the same dances. It’s nice to see her imitating and learning. She makes up and names her own dances. One she demonstrated on Thanksgiving for everyone that involved stomping feet, shaking your butt and blinking your eyes.

The adjustment to being a big sister is going fine. She gets jealous sometimes and tells people to put the baby down, but mostly Bella goes about her business as normal with an occasional break to look at the baby and exclaim “Oh, look at the baby! She is sooo cuuute!” If Addy is making noise Bella will ask what is wrong or tell us to feed or change her. Also, everyone has been doing a great job at making sure big sister gets as much attention as little sister which helps someone who is so used to being the center of attention!

Sweet Adalyn

One week down and just like my labor story, the first week with Adalyn has been so different than the first week with Bella. The biggest difference is that JT has been home with us all week. It’s been so nice and I don’t know how I would have done it without him. Because we were in the hospital so long with Bella (Mon night through Friday) and she didn’t even come home until Saturday of the week she was born, it took up the entire week JT had off. So JT was home with us one day before he had to go back to work. Adalyn’s timing worked out much better though.

We brought Adalyn home on Sunday afternoon. JT’s parents and sister came to visit Sunday night as well as friends Sarah and Jason. The first few nights were rough in terms of sleep. She slept on us in the living room and it was the expected unexpected. We didn’t know when she’d want to wake up, sleep, eat, cry, etc. By Wed we decided it was time to get her used to her bassinet and thankfully she’s taken to it well. For the past 2 days she’s gone down for naps in the bassinet and sleeps in it at night! I’m hoping this keeps up as she gets older because it’s nice to lay down in bed at night rather than try to get comfy on the arm chair.

Feeding has been a struggle. I’m nursing and having more pain this time than I did with Bella. It started in the hospital and has resulted in..well, a lot of pain. I won’t go into details but anyone who has nursed may be able to imagine what things started to look like. I’ll admit, it also resulted in a lot of tears and frustration but I am forcing myself to be patient since the reality is that breastfeeding isn’t easy and it does typically hurt. I know that what I’m experiencing isn’t normal, though so I’ve reached out for help. We’ve talked to a home nurse, Adalyn’s pediatrician and I’ve contacted my local La Leche League leader. As of today, things are getting better. Not as much pain and things are healing. I still have thoughts that I’d like to just quit and bottle feed, but know I won’t for a lot of reasons. So now it’s figuring out how to make it easier on me.

Otherwise the adjustment has been going well. I’m much more relaxed with Adalyn than I was with Bella. She sleeps all the time (as did Bella, but I was still stressed out all the time with her). I’m more confident. My hormones seem to be back in check (I haven’t cried for no reason yet today! Yay!) I’ll be keeping a close eye on my hormones/emotions because I let it go on a little too long with Bella before I got help and don’t want that to happen again this time around.

Bella has been adjusting well too. It’s helped that she’s gone to my mom’s or my sister-in-law’s 3 times this week (she was home with us Mon and Thurs) to give us quiet time at home with Adalyn. Plus she loves it. I don’t think Bella would be as happy if she was home with me all day everyday. When she gets home the first thing she’ll say is “Oooh, look at the baby! She is so cute!” and will give kisses and pokes. But then for the most part it’s as if baby isn’t around. She goes about her business and we play. Sometimes she’ll tell me to set the baby down and yesterday we had a mini-meltdown when I had to feed Addy and Bella didn’t want me to. Again, it’s nice that JT is here to help defuse those type of situations.

As I mentioned earlier, Addy sleeps most of the time but the past 2 days she’s had some good awake periods. I love looking at her face and watching her expressions. I still can’t get over that she was in my stomach just a week ago and now she is here. I feel like a new mom again in so many ways.

Big thanks to all our family that has helped us out this week (and the past 2.5 years with Bella!!). I couldn’t have done it without all the help and look forward to the weeks to come!

Adalyn's Labor/Birth Story

Wed, 11/17 I went to work and started feeling cramps/aches. I knew I wasn’t having contractions because the pain never went away. It wasn’t severe so I continued work as normal, but it was bad enough that when I heard that JT had to work late I invited myself to stay at my parent’s house for dinner. I knew I wouldn’t feel up to taking care of Bella by myself that night.

Wed night after we all got home, I thought I was starting to have contractions but they were mild and irregular. I didn’t want to get my hopes up …but couldn’t help but be excited that something may actually happen soon. The contractions continued through the night (still mild and inconsistent) and woke me up a few times, so I called into work in the morning deciding that I should wait to see how Thursday played out. I went back to bed and by the time I woke up at 10am on Thursday, the contractions had went away completely.

I knew the best thing for me would be to get up and walk around and be active, but I was so tired, felt so big and just didn’t have any energy. So I relaxed most of the day hoping that the contractions would magically start again. Around 2:00 I forced myself to get up and start cleaning the house. About 4:30 I started feeling something, but wasn’t sure if it was just from vacuuming and running up and down the steps… so I went to get Bella letting my in-laws know that I was hoping to be in the hospital soon but not really believing that I would be.

By the time JT got home at 6:00, I now knew I was officially having contractions but they still weren’t regular. I kept track during dinner (hamburgers and tater tots) and they were coming anywhere from 5-8 min apart. I decided to call my parents since they’d be watching Bella the next day anyway and it’d make more sense for them to just take her overnight “just in case” anything happened. Again, I was really hoping baby was coming but wasn’t convinced anything really would happen. But my parents came to get Bella and JT and I continued to track the contractions.

At 9:30pm they were regular at 8 min apart and the pain was still manageable, but was getting worse. I decided to call Labor and Delivery to see what they would say. I was told that I could come in if the pain wasn’t manageable, but if I could wait another 30-60 min the contractions might get closer together. I decided to wait. Around 11:00 they were still 8 min apart but the pain was getting worse. I was going back and forth regarding if I should go in and JT obviously didn’t know what to do either. We finally decided to just lay down in bed and try to get some rest. I figured if something was really going to happen we might as well get some sleep.
The first contraction I had laying down changed my mind. I decided I had to go in. So we got up and started getting ready…then I changed my mind again and thought maybe I was being too anxious. Finally, I decided to call L&D and even though they sounded hesitant they said they’d plan on me coming in. The drive to the hospital (10 min) I second guessed myself but knew I made the right decision when contractions started coming just a couple of minutes apart and I had 3 by the time we walked from the car to the 4th floor of Mercy Hospital.

They checked me in and got me a bed in the triage dept. We could tell it was really busy and nurses were scrambling to find rooms/beds. A nurse came in to check me and made a comment about how she thought I was measuring 6, but she couldn’t really tell… so she called another nurse in who checked and said “Oh, you are an 8 or even a 9! Good thing we didn’t tell you stay home!”.

My first reaction (other than being relived that we decided to come in and that it was really happening)? “Can I still get an epidural??”. I was worried I lost my chance! Thankfully they said I could, but they’d have to get it going NOW. Also, I tested as GBH positive during my pregnancy which meant that I should have been on antibiotics during labor in order to protect baby from infection. Well no one told us that the antibiotics take 4 hours. So they told us that we pretty much missed our chance because there was no way I was lasting 4 hours (THANK GOD!) and while they’d still get it going for me it meant that they’d have to keep baby for a full 48 hours just to monitor her. My next question was if that meant she could still be in our room (because Bella had to spend her time in the Level 2 nursery/couldn’t be in our room with us) and they said she could still be with us (again, thank god!)

Everyone had sprung into action. They attempted an IV four times before getting it in my arm. In that process, they gave me some pain medication to hold me off until the Epi. I can’t remember what it was called, but it was great. I immediately felt light headed and relaxed. So relaxed that I didn’t care what was happening anymore. Unfortunately, it only lasted a short time but worth it. One other comment I remember a nurse making was regarding how I was starting to shake – she said “oh, you’re transitioning! You’re starting to shake”. Which I assume means that I was transitioning to being fully dilated.

They transported me into an actual delivery room and that’s when my body really started reacting. Thankfully they did get the epidural in me in time. Not long after that, I couldn’t stop shaking. It got to the point where I freaked the nurse out, but I couldn’t stop. It didn’t take long until I felt like I had to push, but was confused because it felt more like I had to go to the bathroom than push a baby out.
While my nurse ended up being great, she admitted to me later that she normally doesn’t do deliveries and that she was newer to Mercy. She worked as a postpartum nurse at a different hospital for many years and recently transferred to Mercy. She does labor when they need help. ..and I’ll be honest that it showed. She wasn’t the most confident, but she got the job done I guess. She kept having trouble with the blood pressure monitor and was verbally frustrated. At one point I almost told her to give up on the freaking blood pressure because I had to PUSH, but I contained myself.

My nurse confirmed with another nurse that if I had to push, I should push. She said “the Dr is in another delivery now, and then has a c-section, and then he’ll be in..”. Well crap! That sounds like a long time. But I was given the green light so I pushed while laying on my side, holding JT’s hand and shaking like a leaf. Before long, the Dr actually came in and I realized that this was it. Here was here to deliver the baby! He got things ready and reminded me and JT how to push (wait for a contraction, push while counting until 10, repeat 3x for each contraction). And guess what? 15 minutes later Adayln was born!

With Bella, I pushed for 2 hours and 45 minutes so I could hardly believe it when they said they saw the head. JT saw way more this time than last time and I could tell he was a little squeamish, but he did really well. At one point everyone got a little quiet and JT was still encouraging me to push, but he Dr said “no no, maybe only 50%” so I gave a little push and asked what was going on. The Dr said “take a look!” and there she was! My baby! Less than 3 hours after we got to the hospital, she was delivered, checked out and I was able to hold her. Totally different experience than with Bella.

The rest of the hospital stay went well. We delivered Fri morning and stayed until Sun afternoon. We got a lot of help with nursing from the lactation consultant and nurses and spent a lot of time cuddling with Addy. We did put her in the nursery at night and they brought her back for feedings.

Visitors included Grandma, Grandpa, Bella (they came twice – once each day), Aunt Lissa, Nana, Papa, Clayton (with Melissa again), Great Grandma (with Nana and Papa again), Aunt Michelle, Uncle Pete, Uncle Andy, friends Melissa, Curt (with Reese!) and Jessica.

Overall the staff at Mercy took great care of us and we couldn’t have asked for a better experience!

One more thing...

Just reading through my comments from previous blogs, and my friend Sarah commented about Bella being perfect in every way. I realize my last post about her (lack of) tantrums also probably made it sound that I feel that way. Well, of course I think she’s perfect … but she does have her moments! She’s becoming more and more independent which is a struggle. In the morning, for example, things have to be just right or else we will be dealing with a crabby toddler way to early in the morning. If she wants a pink bowl and it’s dirty, we wash it for her. If I wanted shredded wheat for breakfast but she tells me to eat Kix instead, I eat Kix. So basically she calls the shots :-P

I’ve been blaming it on my lack of energy due to pregnancy, but she does try my patience quite a bit lately. Again she likes to call the shots and trying to tell her no doesn’t work out too well. So I choose my battles. She watches more TV (Wiggles DVD to be specific) now because after I get home from work I need a little chair/relaxing time. If she was cereal for dinner, I won’t object as long as she had something different for breakfast.

While it’s manageable right now, I’ll admit that my biggest concern is when baby comes. She won’t be center of attention anymore. She won’t be the only grandchild. She won’t be the only one I plan my days around. I think it’s going to be a big reality check for her and the ‘3s’ may end up more terrible than the ‘2s’!